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Filter: Narrative

Total chapters: 53

1 Nephi 3

Narrative

Lehi’s sons return to Jerusalem to get the brass plates from Laban. The journey from Jerusalem to what is now Aqaba (the closest location that could even be considered “on the borders by the Red Sea”) is about 70 hours on foot, or at least four or maybe five very long days, not carrying anything.

1 Nephi 7

Narrative

Nephi and his brothers return to Jerusalem to get Ishmael and his family (70 hours of walking each way, from the desert wilderness area, near modern-day Aqaba, the closest coastal area near the borders of the Red Sea).

1 Nephi 16

Narrative

Ishmael dies and is buried at a place called Nahom, by Lehi's party. Some apologists latch onto this as strong evidence for the historicity of the Book of Mormon. See Nahom for a high-level discussion of which explanations make sense of the archaeoligical data.

2 Nephi 5

Narrative

Nephi and his family separate from Laman and Lemuel, and live in the land of Nephi.

2 Nephi 11

Narrative

Jacob continues to discuss the gathering of Israel and the role of the Gentiles.

Jacob 1

Narrative

Time passes and Nephi dies

Jacob 3

Narrative

Jacob condemns the pride of the people and says a lot of words without saying very much

Jarom 1

Narrative

Continuing the narrative, making sure that the “white” ancient people were more advanced than the dark-skinned natives of JS Jr.'s day, using metal for arrows instead of stone arrowheads, so they can fall from their advanced state.

Mosiah 6

Narrative

Mosiah reigns in the stead of King Benjamin, who dies.

Mosiah 7

Narrative

King Mosiah sends a group of men, including Ammon, to find the people of Zarahemla.

Mosiah 11

Narrative

Righteous Zeniff's son King Noah reigns, and leads the people into wickedness.

Mosiah 17

Narrative

Abinadi is martyred, and Alma believes his words.

Mosiah 19

Narrative

The story continues and Limhi reigns as a tributary monarch under the King of Lamanites.

Mosiah 20

Narrative

The priests of Noah cause trouble for the people of Limhi.

Mosiah 25

Narrative

The people of Zarahemla are numbered with the Nephites. King Limhi and many others are baptized after the manner of those at the waters of Mormon.

Mosiah 28

Narrative

The sons of Mosiah go to preach to the Lamanites.

Mosiah 29

Narrative

King Mosiah dies, and Alma becomes the first high priest over the Church, replacing the monarchy with a system of judges.

Alma 6

Narrative

Alma goes to Gideon to preach.

Alma 23

Narrative

Describes the conversion of the Lamanites to Anti-Nephi-Lehies, mixing things up.

Alma 24

Narrative

Anti-Nephi-Lehies lay down and die, which triggers a stop-fighting response and compassion in the Lamanite aggressors, but not the Amalekites and Amulonites, former Nephites, who are extra unrighteous turncoats.

Alma 28

Narrative

Describes a single battle between the Nephites and Lamanites, with tens of thousands of casualties on both sides, but nothing compared to the battles at the Hill Cumorah where hundreds of thousands die, or the battles described in the Book of Ether when millions died and only one was left standing.

Alma 35

Narrative

Priestcraft (being paid to preach the word) is destroyed when people call it out, pissing off the wicked Zoramite preachers, as well as their modern counterparts. The bad people hate the good people so they expel them and plan to hurt the other good people who help the first set of good people. Oh all the ironies.

Alma 43

Narrative

The Nephite armies prepare for battle against the Lamanites. Moroni arms them with breastplates and arm-shields

Alma 44

Narrative

Captain Moroni's Nephite forces try to get the Lamanites to lay down their weapons, but their unrepentant leader and Nephite turncoat, Zerahemnah, refuses.

Alma 47

Narrative

The super wicked Nephite turncoat Amalickiah seeks to become king over the land of Nephi, using cunning and deceit to gain power, including murdering the nameless king of the Lamanites, marrying the queen, after becoming their chief commander. Nephite dissenters are described as being more wild, wicked, indolent, and ferocious than even the Lamanites.

Alma 49

Narrative

The Lamanites attack fortified Nephite cities, but are repelled by Captain Moroni and his forces.

Alma 50

Narrative

The Nephites fortify their cities, a practice unknown in the ancient Americas. Moroni worries about Morianton's treason, and works to cut off his plans.

Alma 52

Narrative

Ammoron becomes the leader, taking over from his slain brother Amalickiah. Nephites surround the city, and Moroni is wounded.

Alma 53

Narrative

Lamanite prisoners bury dead on both sides, and fortify the city Bountiful “digging a ditch and building a breastwork of timers upon the inner bank of the ditch.” Helaman commands two thousand young men who did not make a covenant of pacificism.

Alma 54

Narrative

Captain Moroni and Ammoron, brother of slain Amalickiah, exchange epistles regarding prisoners, and Ammoron repeats how Nephi wronged Laman and Lemuel, flaming the feud between the Nephites and Lamanites. Ammoron makes a good point to Moroni, which is that if there “is a devil and a hell, will he not send you there to dwell with my brother whom ye have murdered?” Ammoron, in a deep-cut, mentions Zoram, who was forced to leave Jerusalem with Lehi, Nephi, etc.

Alma 55

Narrative

Captain Moroni finds a Lamanite among his men (which strongly implies he looks different enough that a Nephite would not do the trick, nor could a Nephite be disguised to do the trick, i.e. they have different skin color, as 2 Nephi 5:21 says) and uses strong wine to put them in a deep sleep.

Alma 56

Narrative

Helaman recounts the faith and courage of the 2,000 stripling Ammonite warriors, sons of the converted Lamanites, who fought valiantly for the Nephites. Their mothers taught them to have faith in God, and miraculously not one soul of them had fallen to the earth, “We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”

Alma 58

Narrative

Nephite captains Helaman, Gid, and Teomner write to Moroni about how they took the city of Manti by strategem, drawing them out of the city. Helaman is frustrated why his army is not receiving more relief, maybe some faction? (foreshadowing)

Alma 59

Narrative

Moroni, being a type of George Washington, “was angry with the government, because of their indifference concerning the freedom of their country.” The Lamanites take the city of Nephihah because of wickedness.

Alma 60

Narrative

Captain Moroni writes a fiery epistle to Pahoran, chiding him for not sending relief to the Nephite armies, and accusing him of being in league with the traitors. Being a type of George Washington, Captain Moroni righteously threatens to fight an unjust government.

Alma 61

Narrative

Pahoran responds that he was driven from the capital by the traitors, and that he is not a part of their wickedness. Moroni apologizes.

Alma 62

Narrative

Pahoran is restored to the judgment seat, and the traitors are defeated.

Helaman 1

Narrative

The Nephites fight the Lamanites and prevail.

Helaman 4

Narrative

The Nephites and Lamanites fight, and the Nephites lose a bunch of land, and then get it back.

Helaman 11

Narrative

The years are ticked down like JS Jr. knows that something more interesting is coming (the birth of Christ six hundred years after Lehi left Jerusalem).

3 Nephi 2

Narrative

More blaming super wicked fictional people for refusing to believe what they have seen with their eyes. This is not skepticism, this sounds like the cynical delusion of the faithful projected onto the skeptical.

3 Nephi 3

Narrative

The just Lachoneus writes an epistle to the head of the Gaddianton robbers, saying he will not be threatened.

3 Nephi 10

Narrative

This reads like a revenge fantasy or end-of-days where the righteous survive, but the wicked carefully get their comeuppance, and justice is finally served. At least it wasn't the entire human race, like in the Noah flood story. But this never happens outside of a storybook. Believers and unbelievers seem to meet terrible fates nearly at random.

4 Nephi 1

Narrative

After Christ's visit, there was a long period of peace and righteousness among the people, lasting nearly 200 years. But peace is boring, and a story needs conflict, so the peace lasts less than one chapter, in terms of total words.

Mormon 2

Narrative

Mormon describes the beginning of the war between the Nephites and Lamanites / Gaddianton robbers, with the Nephites initially being victorious. The Lord would not suffer the wicked to take happiness in sin—but this kind of perfect justice only exists in storybooks. In the real world awful wicked powerful people win, all the time.

Mormon 4

Narrative

Mormon describes the continued war between the Nephites and Lamanites, with heavy casualties on both sides. The Nephites begin to lose ground as their wickedness increases: “It is by the wicked that the wicked are punished.” And there never had been so great wickedness among all the children of Lehi, nor all the house of Israel, until Moroni chapter 9, then it gets really gross and explicit. The Lamanites sacrifice prisoners (including women and children) to their idol gods.

Mormon 6

Narrative

Mormon describes the final battles at the Hill Cumorah (weirdly specific setting: in the land of many waters, rivers, and fountaints) between the Nephites and Lamanites, with the Nephites being completely destroyed. He laments the loss of his people and the destruction of their civilization. But hundreds of thousands of bodies as well as weapons (specifically listing sword, bow, arrow, ax) go poof and leave no trace for archaelogists.

Ether 1

Narrative

The book of Ether is a record of the Jaredites, who came to the Americas from the Old World at the time of the Tower of Babel. It was written by the prophet Ether, who lived at the end of the Jaredite civilization, just before they were destroyed due to their wickedness. The book was abridged by Moroni from the large plates of Ether.

Ether 2

Narrative

The second chapter of Ether describes the Lord's instructions to the brother of Jared regarding the construction of barges / submarines to cross the ocean..

Ether 6

Narrative

Moroni describes the nearly-year-long journey of the Jaredites across the ocean and their arrival in the promised land.

Ether 7

Narrative

Moroni describes the rise and fall of the Jaredite kings, including the wickedness of King Coriantumr.

Ether 14

Narrative

When the Lord curses the land, not only does he stop answering prayers to find lost keys and valuables, such valuables as swords or tools are impossible to find even by conventional (non-prayer) means (extra lost).

Moroni 9

Narrative

Mormon continues his letter to his son Moroni about the atrocities committed by the Nephites against the Lamanites, including hardcore XXX-level snuff-film stuff i.e. hardcore pornagraphic rape and torture, followed by murder and cannibalism. This is worse than almost anything in the entire Old Testament. If this really happened, I guess it is good we know about it? ??? But if it did not happen, and God supposedly inspired this, to put it in a book for children to read, then God has no discretion. If this book was uninspired, then JS Jr. had a wild imagination, like we always thought—this chapter proves it, because it contains George R.R. Martin levels of awfulness. Yes, it is clearly condemned as depravity, but if it all never happened then JS Jr. bringing it up is just plain gross. Any school library with a Book of Mormon would get a censorship request from me. I will read this passage aloud and see if believers can still stomach the idea of leaving this book on the shelf in a library for kids. I don't normally believe in censorship, but this is just completely beyond the pale.
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